Most dearable diary.

I’ve been neglecting you far too long.  I spanked myself in punishment.  Michelle walked in while I was executing my punishment and she thought it was some weird Kenyan meditation ritual.  That woman is so a racist.

Any who, a lot has happened since last I opined on your glorious pages.  The biggest thing is that lots of people found out about my orders last year to sic the IRS on tea parties and other ******* groups like that.  They deserve all the rectal exams they got from the IRS.  They have no right to question or criticize me, for I am Barack Hussein Obama, the best hope for America and to bring it to its knees for collective salvationism.

There’s been some other scandals out there which are linked to me, but the thing is — I don’t care!  I’m Obama!  I am bulletproof!  No scandal, even all these which are actually spot on, can take me down.  Bring it on you republican pigs!  I am Obama!  I am America!  Nothing is above me, especially not your precious constitution.

Wow.  I think I really need my nicotine, I’m a bit grumpy.

Well, time to channel Nixon.

Love me always,

Barry “The Most Awesomest President Ever!” Obama

P.S. 90210 and Gossip Girl got canceled.  I couldn’t get out of bed for days.  At least there is still Glee :D