Scandals, Tea Party, IRS, And Gossip Girl

Most dearable diary.

I’ve been neglecting you far too long.  I spanked myself in punishment.  Michelle walked in while I was executing my punishment and she thought it was some weird Kenyan meditation ritual.  That woman is so a racist.

Any who, a lot has happened since last I opined on your glorious pages.  The biggest thing is that lots of people found out about my orders last year to sic the IRS on tea parties and other ******* groups like that.  They deserve all the rectal exams they got from the IRS.  They have no right to question or criticize me, for I am Barack Hussein Obama, the best hope for America and to bring it to its knees for collective salvationism.

There’s been some other scandals out there which are linked to me, but the thing is — I don’t care!  I’m Obama!  I am bulletproof!  No scandal, even all these which are actually spot on, can take me down.  Bring it on you republican pigs!  I am Obama!  I am America!  Nothing is above me, especially not your precious constitution.

Wow.  I think I really need my nicotine, I’m a bit grumpy.

Well, time to channel Nixon.

Love me always,

Barry “The Most Awesomest President Ever!” Obama

P.S. 90210 and Gossip Girl got canceled.  I couldn’t get out of bed for days.  At least there is still Glee :D

10 thoughts on “Scandals, Tea Party, IRS, And Gossip Girl

  1. I can actually envision the president being pissed with shows like 90210 and Gossip Girl being canceled. He cares more about “cool” and pop-culture than actually attending to his constitutional duties.

    • You better watch it, you fat sack of crap. I can get you!

      Barack as never watched Gossip Girl. Never ever ever!

      • Really? He’s already admitted that he makes time to watch TV. He has used taxpayer time to tell everyone what his sports brackets are. He has frequent lavish parties with Hollywood big wigs all the time, at taxpayer expense. He’s a pop-culture junkie who only wants to be president for the power and fame.

  2. Hey Barack, when are we going to hang out and play golf? I totally get it if you are too busy, but you’ve been promising to do it since before our re-election. If you don’t want to hang out with me, just say so. Just don’t leave me hangin’

    • Fine, I don’t want to hang out with you.

      You are obnoxious. We hold our breath every time you speak in front of a camera because we never know what you are going to say. You don’t think before you speak. You seriously have a problem Joe. I really think you might have brain damage. Get an MRI, before all of this Obamacare stuff kicks in fully, otherwise, you won’t be able to afford it.

      We are thinking about putting you out to pasture. Go to hell Joe.

  3. What scandals? Although I think that the piece is written with sarcasm in mind, tea party groups absolutley deserve what they got. They are racist, grumpy old people who can’t stand change. Let them suffer. Silence them. They are crazy and don’t deserve any human decency.

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